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hsp

How to Work with Highly Sensitive People

meerkat on alert representing high sensitvity

You might have heard the term HSP and wondered if it applies to you or some of your coworkers, or perhaps even your partner. Understanding this trait will be helpful to you in any case as it may help you advocate for yourself, navigate your relationships more effectively, and to better support others.

WHAT IS AN HSP?

Dr. Elaine Aron was in conversation with her therapist when they suggested that perhaps she was highly sensitive.1 The idea of being highly sensitive intrigued Elaine so much she went on to research and in the early 90s defined the trait that is also known clinically as Sensory Processing Sensitivity.

 

It is important to note it is quite distinct from Sensory Processing Disorder which includes difficulties in organizing and responding to information that arrives through the senses and which can have a significant impact on learning and daily life.

 

People who have the trait are most often referred to as HSPs, with HSP standing for “highly sensitive person”. Elaine defines the term as “a preference to process information more deeply”. I would add the word “involuntary” in advance of preference, as there is little to no choice involved. The trait is present in about 20% of the population, so I can guarantee you know someone who is an HSP…even if they don’t know it yet. HSPs’ brains light up differently in fMRI studies compared to non-HSPs when given tasks that involve perception involving subtle differences.

 

Let’s tackle the word “sensitive” as it can put some people off. Sensitivity is an undervalued quality in North American culture and, despite its great value, can be perceived by some as a sign of weakness. Here, sensitivity does not relate only to emotional sensitivity and easily finding oneself in tears, though that is possible for some. In fact, Elaine confesses she would rename the trait if she could start over, perhaps replacing sensitive with the word perceptive or responsive. Our sensitivity or responsiveness extends to the physical, mental, and emotional.

 

Since the term is out in the world, I’m going with it so those who have learned about it can find the Happy Space Pod and podcast, but it’s worth understanding the trait includes some other qualities. Elaine refers to them with the acronym DOES (pronounced like the verb, not the noun, though I think the image of female deer is probably apt). *** Update – for my take on the elements of high sensitivity, based on Dr. Aron’s work but slightly reorganized, please see this post: The SEED Model of High Sensitivity

 

HSP QUALITIES

 

D – Depth of Processing – we spend more time dealing with new information and thinking about it more deeply… which can definitely be exhausting. The dark side is tendency to overthink.

 

O – Overstimulation – we can be extremely sensitive to high stimulation environments – think crowds, busy roads, and noisy restaurants, as well as rough fabrics!

 

E – Empathy & Emotional Reactivity – we have greater reactions to both positive and negative experiences with mirror neurons activating in response to pictures conveying emotion, even in people we don’t know. Further, our brains are noticeably more responsive to positive stimuli.

 

S – Sensitivity to subtle stimuli – we pay attention to everything. Couple that with our empathy and you’ll find us looking out for others.

 

WHAT HSPs NEED AND WHAT YOU CAN DO TO PROVIDE SUPPORT

  1. We need time to process thoughts. From you, we appreciate patience while we form our ideas and actions.
  2. We are sometimes over-stimulated. From you, we appreciate empathy and compassion. Compassion in the form of supportive action to eliminate a stressor is even better.
  3. We deeply feel the emotional energy of others. From you, we appreciate the flexibility to take quiet time and be in a space where we can center, rest, and recover.
  4. We notice small things which may be of great importance. From you, we appreciate being heard. Customer service departments – we are your greatest gift if you are willing to listen.

 

HSPs are shown to make exceptionally good employees with high-performance reviews, yet if conditions are not kind, we will be the first to burnout.

 

If you are an HSP – define what you need to sustain your energy. I call these Productivity Table Stakes™ – eight key ingredients to understand your relationship with and ensure are considered every day.

If you are a leader, ask your HSP employee what they need to succeed. It’s my favorite leadership question for everyone, but it is so relevant here.

If you are a partner to an HSP – co-create your home and life together to minimize stress and increase the joy in your time together.

 

I invite you all to join the Happy Space Pod – a safe online community to explore greater productivity and well-being for highly sensitive professionals. I hope to see you there.

*** Update – the focus of the Pod and Podcast has expanded from high sensitivity to designing inclusive performance. All through my lens as a highly sensitive person.

Filed Under: HSP - Highly Sensitive Person, Leadership, Performance, Relationships, Wellness Tagged With: colleague, highly sensitive person, hsp, interpersonal skills, productivity, work

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Productivity catalyst, highly sensitive executive coach, and speaker, Clare Kumar cultivates sustainable performance in busy professionals so they can keep making rich contributions in all areas of life and achieve greater fulfillment.

She inspires leaders, professionals, employees and entrepreneurs to respect humanity and boost performance through marrying productivity and pleasure. After all, why shouldn’t you have fun while getting things done?

 

From the Blog

Highly Sensitive Patient Care – How much information do you want to share?

The SEED Model™ of High Sensitivity

LG Home Office Makeover Contest

how do you build connection with a dispersed workf how do you build connection with a dispersed workforce?
that’s exactly what Sally Page, co-founder of @work.tripp and I explore in the latest episode of the Happy Space Podcast.

“there is something very beautiful that happens when a team comes together in terms of their motivation and their kind of performance, when they really come together with purpose…but it’s really hard to do”

and i think it’s important to recognize that simply being together in an office, does not connection make. Dr. Vivek Murthy, when he was the 19th Surgeon General in the US, called out loneliness as an epidemic - before the pandemic. 

Sally recommends:

🧠intentionally crafting connection by building experiences, especially out of the office.

📅choosing a cadence depending on the growth stage of the team or project. quarterly is often ideal.

🎯 focusing on one key thing during the offsite. connection itself can be the goal.

🌳getting out into nature. many studies reveal the benefits and a change of scenery is more memorable.

what are you noticing about building connection at work?

🔗to podcast in bio

#connection #teambuilding #leadership #startup #worktripp #HSP #HappySpacePodcast #happyspacepod #coach
"stay away from the extroverts" said, Tom Peters w "stay away from the extroverts" said, Tom Peters
wait, what? this extrovert had a moment in our podcast interview.

read on to find out what happened in our conversation and why now, Tom says, “look for the quiet and sensitive”!

when I read "Tom Peters' Compact Guide to Excellence", my jaw dropped when he proclaimed that Susan Cain's book "Quiet" is the best business book of this century. the book opened Tom's eyes to the value of quiet, introverted people which had been completely missing from his and many organization's thinking.

in our conversation, when Tom suggested we "stay away from extroverts", being extroverted myself, i was compelled to lobby for sensitive extroverts and offer a counter-thought:

what if it isn't introversion and "quiet" that we need to value?

(i have rarely been accused of being too quiet, despite my middle name meaning "peace" - nice try, mum and dad!)

what if it is sensitivity?

highly sensitive people are superb noticers, process information more deeply, and are adept at synthesizing information. they also innately bring the much-needed empathy required in today’s challenging work world. the 30% of sensitive people who are extroverts (6% of the general population) are a special asset to any organization.

that said, HSPs also need more time to rest and recover during the work day. without that, we are at risk of burning out.

Tom reflects, "I said to somebody, I'm so sensitive to what's going on that I'm always overloading."

Tom immediately revised his "linguistic expression" to say, "look for the quiet and sensitive". I guess I ought to still work on being a bit quieter. ☺

have a listen as Tom and I explore what he calls “extreme humanism”. if we can create work experiences that respect humanity, imagine what we can accomplish.

we can definitely use more Tom Peters-like people in the world.

i'd love to hear what you think. please comment below or on your fave podcast platform.

🔗 link in bio

#hsp #hspcoach #clarekumar #highlysensitiveperson #inclusivity #empathy #sensitivity #leadership #extremehumanism #humanity #productivity
Instagram post 18351377770059912 Instagram post 18351377770059912
Tom Peters is intellectually irritated! he has bee Tom Peters is intellectually irritated! he has been fighting for extreme humanism for 45 years. 

“the message is clear. the message is simple. the message is powerful..."

future of work champions - what can we do to help Tom out? 
comment below!

🔗 in bio for full episode

#futureofwork #humanism #insearchofexcellence
Tom Peters has been revered in the world of busine Tom Peters has been revered in the world of business management ever since releasing the 1982 book In Search of Excellence with co-author Robert Waterman. selling shy of 5 million copies, it is recognized as one of the most influential management works.

in our conversation, we explore Tom’s deep respect for humanity which he refers to as Extreme Humanism. we dive into sensitivity, his fondness for “quiet” people, inclusivity, and the power of female leaders. we tackle the challenges of managing by zooming around and the need for a new kind of leader. 

while some understand a different leadership mindset is required for the current world of work, many don’t. we are, indeed, still in search of excellence.

🔗 to podcast🎙 in bio

#hsp #hspcoach #clarekumar #highlysensitiveperson #inclusivity #empathy #sensitivity #leadership #extremehumanism #humanity
if you want a 4-day week or are curious about impl if you want a 4-day week or are curious about implementing one, you’ll want to join Joe O’Connor an i as we unpack the in-demand 4-day week. 

Mon Mar 13 - noon - 1 pm EDT

the largest trial of the concept wrapped up recently in the UK and Joe was intimately involved. get the inside scoop and your questions answered. 

you’ll also have a chance to win a Sensory Matrix Assessment (you have to stay till the end!)

register via HappySpaceHotTopics.com

#flexibility #4dayweek #worklifeintegration
ooh, it was refreshing to feel spring in the air a ooh, it was refreshing to feel spring in the air at the
@homedepotcanada spring showcase.

from smart lighting, to durable and stylish outdoor furniture (metal that really looks like wood), to new storage solutions from @ryobi_canada 

chatting with the knowledgeable buyers and product specialists to learn what’s new and share some ideas was a highlight. as was seeing media friends. so good to see you IRL!

#FromDoToDone
“the number one thing you do if you want to impr “the number one thing you do if you want to improve performance is promote more women,” says Tom.

the corporate world can often be hard to navigate as a woman. inviting the compassion, understanding, and advocacy of our allies is what we need to design inclusive performance for all.

let’s keep our voices strong throughout the year.

this clip is from the upcoming episode of the Happy Space Podcast, "Still in Search of Excellence" with Tom Peters, dropping march 13th, 2023.

join Tom and me as we explore leadership as influenced by the pandemic, tensions between leaders and the workforce, and how to manage by Zooming around. we also find out why is Tom Peters "intellectually irritated"?

tune in on march 13th on your podcast player of choice, Youtube or www.clarekumar/podcast.

and if you're free, join us on monday at noon EDT for the Happy Space Hot Topics conversation unpacking the 4-day week with special guest Joe O'Connor, former CEO of 4-Day Week.

register via http://www.happyspacehottopics.com/ and be entered to win a prize. (you must be in attendance to win!)

#ALLin #inclusivity #women #leadership
a few hours drive east along the lake and happy to a few hours drive east along the lake and happy to be meeting my clients in Kingston. 

you’ll hear me talking a lot about remote work but sometimes it really is worth travelling to be in person. 

i encourage leaders to be intentional about why they bring people together in person. mix task and team, content and connection, function and fun and there is a greater chance employees will want to participate. 

#acknowledgetheask and make it worthwhile to show up. 

budget for the travel time, energy and expense required. recognize you’re making a withdrawal on personal time. 

design for well-being and performance will flow…
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