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Clare Kumar | Inclusive & Sustainable Performance

Clare Kumar

Powering Up Productivity & Pleasure

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habit

The ABCs of Behavior Change (TM) – for habits that stick

 

Let me state for the record that though there is a huge focus on making resolutions, I think the new year is one of the toughest times to adopt a new behavior. Many of us have just come through holidays when schedules were thrown to the wind, indulgences beckoned at every turn, and in the northern hemisphere, the days were dark and cold. There is less energy and momentum for the kinds of changes that people generally like to make which are most often about health and self-improvement.1 On top of that, we just have just come through 2020, the year which seemed to laugh in the face of goal setting.

That said, a recent survey reveals 74% of adult Americans are starting the year off with a resolution (up 15% from the year prior), and a full 55% think they will follow through.2 While 77% of people can make the desired change for a week, research shows only 19% of people can hold onto their changes for two years.3 Not surprisingly, both the percentage of people who make resolutions and the conviction in upholding them both decline with age.4

There are excellent books on the topic of making a habit stick, such as Charles Duhigg’s The Power of Habit which analyzes the process of habit, and more recently, James Clear’s Atomic Habits, with steps for each part of the habit loop. To summarize, you need a trigger that is obvious, a desire to engage in the act, a low barrier to action, and gratification upon completion.

Through coaching hundreds of people wanting to be either more organized or more productive, I noticed challenges in a slightly different way and offer a model to help, The ABCs of Behavior Change™. It offers five progressive steps to bring more commitment to the change you want to make and set you up for success.

Before getting into the techniques of implementing a specific change we must connect deeply with why it matters. If that connection to reason is missing, you might get started on a change due to some external motivation, and this may be enough for some people who fall into Gretchen Rubin’s tendencies driven by others’ expectations (read Gretchen’s book The Four Tendencies for more on this), but it may not enough to make it stick for the long term. Let’s dive in!

 

The ABCs of Behavior Change

A – Acknowledge

Acknowledge and accept the advantage the change will bring you. If you are still doubting, dig deeper to understand how the action will really help you. Do you truly buy into the benefit? What other questions need answering?

 

B – Believe

Believe that you are worth it. Making a change might mean putting yourself first and setting boundaries. For some, this is very uncomfortable. Are you ready to dance in discomfort? Can you give yourself permission to take action?

 

C – Cultivate

Cultivate an environment that encourages and supports you in making the change. This includes your physical environment and the people around you. Do you feel supported? Will you ask for what you need?

 

D – Defend

Defend, with grace, the boundaries you rely on to follow through on the change. Play with and practice respectful language to help others understand your priorities. Become more and more comfortable saying no. How will you play a graceful defense?

 

E – Engage

Engage deeply in the moment you complete the action. Note how you feel physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Let the positive feelings you discover be your intrinsic motivation inspire you to take action again. Will you stop and tune in?

 

Move through each of these steps to build a happy habit – one that you look forward to completing. If for some reason you break the chain, engage in this bonus step.

F – Forgive

Forgive yourself for not sticking to the change you wanted to make, but don’t stop there. Figure out which one of the first five steps wasn’t setting you up for success. Go back to that step, re-examine it, reconnect with it or adjust and move forward.

 

SOURCES

  1. Top New Year resolutions

The data is based on an online survey of 1,790 US adults born between 1928 to 2002 commissioned by Finder and conducted by Pureprofile in September 2020. Participants were paid volunteers.

New Year’s resolution statistics

  1. Percent making resolutions

https://www.finder.com/new-years-resolution-statistics

 

  1. New Year resolution failure rate

Norcross, J C, and D J Vangarelli. “The resolution solution: longitudinal examination of New Year’s change attempts.” Journal of substance abuse vol. 1,2 (1988): 127-34. doi:10.1016/s0899-3289(88)80016-6

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/2980864/

 

 

  1. New Year Resolutions and Conviction by Generation

New Year’s resolution statistics

 

If you’re looking for support in making a change, I offer private and group coaching for individuals and leaders.  I invite you to book a call with me to explore.

Filed Under: Alignment, Awareness, Compass, Intention, Productivity, Rituals, Skills, Systematize Tagged With: behavior change, behaviour change, habit, new year resolution, ritual

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Productivity catalyst, highly sensitive executive coach, and speaker, Clare Kumar cultivates sustainable performance in busy professionals so they can keep making rich contributions in all areas of life and achieve greater fulfillment.

She inspires leaders, professionals, employees and entrepreneurs to respect humanity and boost performance through marrying productivity and pleasure. After all, why shouldn’t you have fun while getting things done?

 

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How to Work with Highly Sensitive People

The ABCs of Behavior Change (TM) – for habits that stick

my dear darling dad i don't see your smiling fac my dear darling dad 

i don't see your smiling face but i feel your caring heart

i don't hear your thoughtful words but i carry your wisdom

i don't hear your laughter but i still make all the wordplays you would have loved

i don't feel your hugs but i feel your love

thirty years is a long time to miss you

you live on for me in every flower i photograph

in every moment of compassion i witness

in every moment i strive to be more like you at your best

i will always miss you even though you are with me

love, your eldest daughter
pretty but poisonous. toxic wild parsnip. grows to pretty but poisonous. toxic wild parsnip. grows to human height. 

don’t touch!
alert - toxic wild parsnip just popped up again in alert - toxic wild parsnip just popped up again in toronto. 

i’ll post a pic next. 

don’t touch it!

#hsp #notice #activate
Free on July 5th at noon EDT? If you're an HSP or Free on July 5th at noon EDT? If you're an HSP or want to learn more about the trait, join me for an open chat about the Happy Space movement to inspire a more inclusive, tender world. 

everyone deserves a happy space!

Register here: https://cutt.ly/eAaOmOi

#hsp #inclusivity #Neurodivergent
foreboding. frightening. it’s not about the babi foreboding. frightening. it’s not about the babies. 
#roevswade
Tune in as @melodywilding and i talk about highly Tune in as @melodywilding and i talk about highly sensitive people, organization, and productivity. 

#hsp #highlysensitiveperson #organized #organizer #productive #productivity

Posted @withregram • @napo_natl How to Stop Overthinking and Trust Yourself - The latest episode of the NAPO Stand Out Podcast featuring Host @clarekumar and guest @melodywilding, executive coach to sensitive high-achievers. Download and listen today at NAPOpodcast.com, our YouTube channel, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and more!
autonomy means… topping up on vitamind in the m autonomy means…

topping up on vitamind in the middle of the day. 

what does autonomy mean to you?

#sustainableperformance #productivity #boostmood #boostimmunesystem
dive in… dive in…
may you find a small joy that inspires a smile tod may you find a small joy that inspires a smile today
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You're blessed with superb filters and have no trouble handling a chaotic environment. Not a lot bothers you. HSPs dream of feeling like this!


You believe “done is better than perfect”. With your focused action, there’s a chance you can be perceived as being a bit of a bull in a china shop. You may quickly jump to conclusions and be too casual with others’ feelings. 

 

You may benefit from taking more time to assess a situation before taking action, something that comes naturally to HSPs.

 

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With about 20% of people being highly sensitive, it makes good sense to learn more about the trait.

 

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You notice a mix of emotions each day, in yourself and others. Sometimes this is easy to accommodate. Other times, it can be overwhelming.

 

You are sometimes bothered by disorganization and chaos around you and notice what could be improved. 

 

Other times, you miss nuance and subtleties that can better guide your actions. You can be creative in the right environment.

 

You are sometimes able to reprioritize efficiently when necessary. Other times, you might find yourself needing to think deeply before making a decision.

 

With 1 in 5 people having the trait of high sensitivity, it is quite possible that you are one of them. 

 

If you shared your email address with us, you should have already received an email with your custom results and more detailed information.

Meanwhile, I invite you to explore the trait of high sensitivity by joining the Happy Space Pod Online Community, a positive place for HSPs and also for non-HSPs who want to better understand and more fully support the valuable HSPs in their lives. 

I hope to see you there.


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Hello, fellow HSP!


You believe perfect is worth striving for and you are proud of your conscientiousness. Being so thoughtful with your work often leaves you frustrated at just how long it takes to get something done. 


Your ability to notice what’s going on around you provides helpful cues which guide your path forward. While blurting out what’s on your mind has sometimes ruffled feathers, you are generally perceived as a thoughtful team player who cares for others. 


You will benefit greatly from setting boundaries, improving self-regulation,  and self-advocating to preserve your energy. 

Join the supportive Happy Space Pod Online Community for more strategies that will help you thrive as an HSP.


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