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The SEED Model™ of High Sensitivity

seedling under lightbulb in the soil with foliage in soft focus in the background

Did you know that I add the letters “HSP” after my name on my LinkedIn profile and on Zoom?

Why?

HSP stands for a highly sensitive person and I have this trait. I think it’s an extra piece of information – just like pronouns – that can help others understand something important about me that would otherwise remain invisible. The level of understanding will depend on prior knowledge of what HSP means, but if one has never heard of it, it’s often a conversation starter. And, that’s fine by me.

Identified by Dr. Elaine Aron in the mid-90s, high sensitivity is a genetic trait clinically known as Sensory Processing Sensitivity. It occurs in about 20% of the population and over 100 species. It is a positive distinction that SPS is considered a trait and not a “disorder” (though there is debate about whether the term disorder is fair for other neurodivergent conditions as well), however, this means that while high sensitivity is considered a normal neural state, the accommodations which might be helpful, and which are available to conditions viewed as disorders, are not readily offered to the highly sensitive. It is my goal to raise awareness and understanding of sensitivity in general and to pave a smoother path for fellow HSPs. We really shouldn’t have to worry about labels. We simply need a more tender world. Or as I like to say, “everyone deserves a Happy Space®”.

I wish I could remember exactly how I first found out about the trait about eight years ago but all I remember is feeling like I could see myself more clearly after reading Dr. Aron’s masterwork “The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You”. It’s fair to say it has significantly influenced my life for the better. Awareness is everything.

“Making Work Work for the Highly Sensitive Person” by Barrie Jaeger, Ph.D. and “Trust Yourself: Stop Overthinking and Channel Your Emotions for Success at Work” by Melody Wilding, furthered my understanding of the impacts of the trait in a professional context. And, more recently, “Divergent Mind: Thriving in a World That Wasn’t Designed for You” by Jenara Nerenberg helped me to realize that sensitivity is commonly observed in many neurodivergent ways of being such as autism, ADHD, and dyslexia.

I began to include sensitivity in my presentations to the organizing and productivity community in 2017 as I came to understand organizing efforts as a personal coping strategy to calm my overstimulating world. Today, I include a reference to sensitivity in my title as a Highly Sensitive Executive Coach and am often asked to speak about neurodiversity. I honour the trait and its strengths as part of why I believe I’m good at what I have chosen to do.

With so much reflection and review of the way Dr. Aron refers to the elements of the trait in her DOES model (which I explained in my first blog post about the trait), I found DOES troubling in three ways:

a) A name must be easy to say if you expect people to repeat it. I never knew if DOES was “duz” as in the active form of doing something, or “dōz”, as in the plural of the female form of deer. I suspect it’s neither as have heard Dr. Aron spell it out – D O E S, but the ability for it to be pronounced two (or more) ways stumped me. I figured it might get in the way of other people remembering the elements and/or sharing about it as well. I do recognize that this could indeed be an example of me embodying the HSP tendency to deeply process and overthink.

b) The “O” over overstimulation and the “S “of sensitivity to stimuli seemed to me to be related and therefore can be considered as one item with a continuum of experience.

c) There are two E’s: Empathy and Emotional Responsiveness. They are both important and I feel deserve to be adequately recognized.
Pondering this for some time, as a highly sensitive person is wont to do, I thought to rearrange and group the elements of the trait in an easy-to-remember way, with a positive metaphor. Hence, the SEED Model™ of High Sensitivity.

OVERVIEW OF THE SEED MODEL OF HIGH SENSITIVITY
The acronym SEED stands for four elements in a positive analogy suggesting that rich goodness lies within. The elements are Sensitivity, Empathy, Emotional Responsiveness, and Depth of Processing.

Let’s take a look at each element and both its positive and challenging aspects. When expressed positively, we have superpowers 💪🏼 at our disposal. That said, there is a chance that we can struggle 😕 instead, especially if we are depleted in any way and not able to effectively self-regulate. I think it’s important to acknowledge the positive and negative parts of the trait and do our best to set ourselves up by designing life and work to experience as much of the positive as we can.

Sensitivity

💪🏼 Our ability to be sensitive to subtle stimuli makes us great “noticers”. We can pick up on facial expressions, turns of phrase, and body language. Our abundance of mirror neurons means we are more apt to naturally mimic a person with whom we are engaging and subconsciously build rapport. HSPs have an innate ability to put others at ease.

😕 With our nervous systems being “always on”, we can tire more easily. In loud, bright, or crowded spaces no matter whether physical or virtual, our senses may be overwhelmed. This can lead us to avoiding or opting out. We need more rest and recovery options built into our days. Naps for the win!

 

Empathy

💪🏼 We have an innate ability to understand what others are feeling. This can invite them to feel comfortable with us and lead to compassionate action. It can make us stronger leaders; empathy is now being widely recognized as a key leadership skill. You’ll want HSPs on your team.

😕 Sensing others’ suffering can leave us feeling emotionally exhausted and limit our effectiveness. It can be important to limit the amount of toxicity and pain we choose to experience. “Blinders on!” can be an effective strategy.

 

Emotional Responsiveness

💪🏼 Increased brain activation in response to stimuli confirms that we receive robust cues to help process information. This arousal means our highs are definitely higher. This is worth celebrating.

😕 Conversely, our lows can be lower. Receiving strong signals without having the time available, intent or ability to process them can lead to potentially offensive outbursts. Self-regulation skills are your friend. Insert pauses into your day to stay grounded.

 

Deep Processing

💪🏼 Our intense thinking can lead to rich, creative solutions. Research shows that even the HSP brain “at rest” (in the absence of stimuli) is actively processing. No wonder we’re often mentally tired.

😕 If left unchecked, our conscientious natures and desires for quality outcomes can mean that we suffer from perfectionism and end up spinning. We mull over option after option and can end up stuck in analysis paralysis. You’ll want strategies to simplify decision-making to support moving forward.

 

Knowledge of the trait has grown slowly over the years but I feel we are on the cusp of it being widely understood. Certainly, the release of “Sensitive: The Hidden Power of a Highly Sensitive Person in a Loud, Fast, Too-Much World” by Andre Sólo and Jenn Granneman in early 2023 is helping drive recognition with articles in Time magazine and Forbes. Check out episode 15 of the Happy Space® Podcast for my conversation with Andre.

Hopefully, broader appreciation will also not be far behind with more prominent people sharing their sensitivity. For example, tune into episode 16 of the podcast to hear management thought leader, Tom Peters shares his appreciation of sensitivity and thoughtful leadership. I recently shared a post in the Happy Space Pod, a conversation between George Stroumboulopoulos and Gabor Mate in which they explore where creativity comes from. Dr. Mate says very clearly: it comes from sensitivity. With celebrities such as actors Meryl Streep, Jennifer Lawrence, and Viola Davis, and singer Annie Lennox all sharing that they are also highly sensitive, I hope more people will not be afraid to be loud and proud about the trait.

Here are a few additional resources. Feel free to share with anyone you think might be highly sensitive. Who knows…you could be triggering a life-changing moment.

Happy Space Podcast
HSP Quiz
Happy Space Pod online Facebook community

 

*****

Productivity catalyst, highly sensitive executive coach, and inclusivity advocate, Clare Kumar, helps professionals improve productivity and well-being while avoiding exhaustion and burnout. She delivers keynotes, workshops, coaching, and connection through her online community, the Happy Space Pod. Kumar is a sought-after brand ambassador and media contributor for products and services contributing to productivity and well-being.

Filed Under: HSP - Highly Sensitive Person, Uncategorized

A daily to-do list to keep you focused – Your Focused Five™

When you’re not terribly busy or managing a light load, you might be able to remember everything you’re responsible for, but what happens when the pace picks up or you’ve got more plates to spin? Having a reliable practice in place can help take the pressure off. This applies to everyone from students to senior executives. Keeping track of tasks can be helped by having a task management Ritual you can count on.

Take a second and think about your to-do list. Is it scrawled on a scrap of paper, jotted down in a notebook, lurking in an online app, or perhaps just jumbled in your head? Is it a regular tool you use, or something you create in a crisis?

If you use it often and it’s working well for you, celebrate that. It’s quite a win, as many people struggle (including me) to find a system they enjoy.

 

Ask yourself three questions:

a) do you use your system regularly? If not there may be something to explore with mindset or the medium. It may not be the right format, but we’ll explore that in another post.

b) is it working for you? In other words, does it keep you on task and on track?

c) how does it make you feel? Do you feel good during and after using it?

Let’s explore the last question. If you’re looking at your to-do list and it leaves you feeling overwhelmed and like you’re not getting enough done, something needs to change. We simply don’t need the tools we choose to use leaving us feeling at all depleted afterward.

There is a need for two (or more) kinds of to-do lists. Just how many you need will depend on how you think and prefer to keep different tasks separately, but at minimum, I recommend having two lists.

The first, likely massive list, is what I call your Master To-Do List. It’s essentially a download of what’s on your mind. Whenever you’re feeling overwhelmed or like you’re forgetting things, it’s worthwhile pausing, and even though it feels stressful, investing the time in going through your inbox, calendar, notes on your desk, and mind to capture your intentions.  As Daniel J. Levitin explains in his book “An Organized Mind” (1),

“Writing things down conserves the mental energy expended in worrying that you might forget something and in trying not to forget it.”

But, I caution you in using this Master To-Do List when it comes to focusing on your daily activities. It is simply too big. Have you ever ordered a plate of food, perhaps a big bowl of pho (Vietnamese soup), and kept eating yet it looks like you’ve hardly consumed anything? It’s somehow highly ungratifying, no matter how tasty the food.

From your Master To-Do List, choose five important things you wish to complete in a day and write those down in a separate second list I call the “Focused Five“.

Why five? Five is a small enough number to actually get through. The act of selecting items forces you to identify the most important activities to attend to. You’ll enjoy the sense of accomplishment that comes from ticking everything off your list.

Keep this list right in front of you. Prop it up on your computer, leave it on your desk, or pop it into your wallet when you’re on the move. It’s a simple, low-tech way to keep your priorities top of mind.

I started out using index cards and then made a template to print my own cards to use each day. You can download it here.

If you get through your list, don’t forget to celebrate a little before choosing another item or two from your Master To-Do List.

Try it and I’d love to hear how it goes!

 

Source:

  1. Levitin, Daniel J. The Organized Mind: Thinking Straight in the Age of Information Overload. Dutton an Imprint of Penguin Random House, 2017 p 69

I work with organizations to deliver sustainable performance.  If you know of a forward-thinking company who wants to achieve objectives and help their leaders and teams avoid disengagement and burnout, book a Discovery Call to learn more about a range of engaging talks and effective coaching and consulting.

Filed Under: Business Organizing, Intention, Productivity, Time Management, Uncategorized

How and Why to Choose a Focus Word of the Year

With the start of a new year, it is a natural time for reflection, celebration, and forethought to the year ahead. Many of us will be thinking about New Year resolutions, which I’d prefer to reframe as intentions, but they too often get dismissed after a few days or if you’re lucky weeks. Yes, I believe in setting goals for the year, in six different areas of life (as described in The LifeTime Management Playbook™), and this selection of the powerful, Focus Word of the Year is in addition to that more detailed, recurring planning exercise. Stay with me – I promise it’s worth it. If you were to do one thing related to planning right now, this should be it.

 

Why choose a Focus Word?

When I first learned of the practice (from a source I can’t remember or would gladly credit), my goal was to choose one word to keep top of mind throughout the year as an overarching theme to serve as a powerful tool for focusing intention, guiding attention and ultimately shaping execution. It has had such a strong impact I now consider it a ritual for this time of year.

A word is sometimes about doing, but more often it’s about a way of doing or being. It has the ability to guide your thinking and ultimately your actions. It recurs in your mind to keep you attentive to that which you have decided warrants your energy and resources. It serves as a powerful reminder of how you want to show up.

It’s not a foolproof strategy, for sure, but if I slipped, just keeping the word in mind helped me check in to see how I had missed living my intentions, and prompted me to think about what I might do differently in a similar situation should it arise again. It can quickly centre you and bring you back to intention.

Consider choosing a word more of a foundation. To find your Powerful Focus Word, you will have to dig a little deeper. Your word only has to be meaningful to you and you can keep it completely to yourself if you wish. I did that for the first year.

 

Why just one?

I’ve seen the practice become more popular in the past year with some people choosing one word, and others three or more. Choosing one word is perhaps more difficult than choosing several words, but ultimately for me, has greater impact, and is simpler to apply. If you have more words, you will have to move between them and apply your resources to all. This is how we have to manage things to successfully integrate life, after all. For me, landing on one word has a simplicity and elegance which I crave, and the constraint forces deeper thinking and some tough choices.

That said, one word often has several partner words which go along with it. Find the cluster of related words which help give the depth of meaning you are looking for. This might make it easier to land on one. That word cluster ought to feel like a nourishing broth from which you’ll drink, daily.

As with most things, there is no one way. I invite you to explore the idea and find what works for you. Start with one and if it feels like that isn’t enough, keep going.

 

Does the word only last a year?

Thankfully, no. Powerful words linger. Even though I focused on one word per year, with each it was merely the beginning of a journey in relationship to that word. Learning and experimentation continue. I continue to aspire to the words I chose previously, though more subconsciously now. It feels as if I have absorbed them into my way of being. On my best days, anyway!

 

How to choose your word

Get ready for some extreme self-reflection and simmering. For the past month, I’ve been thinking about my Focus Word for the year. When I come up with something that seems like a fit, I let my mind dance with it, applying it to various situations and feel what it inspires. I tune into how my body reacts. Some words feel onerous and constrictive, whereas others feel motivating. Don’t be afraid to let go of a word and move on. Look for a word you’ll like to tango with this year. One which will lead you towards good things.

Here are some questions to ask yourself to generate your own Powerful Focus Word. To get to your word, you will want to combine careful thought and idea incubation. Let a few words come to you. Feel the word. You’ll know when you’ve hit the right one.

Careful Thought

1.      If you could skip ahead a year and reflect on 2019, what would you like to be proud of?

2.      If you’ve set goals for the year, is there a word that could serve as a foundation to that success?

3.      Are there moments from the past you wish you could have handled better? What word comes up to help support shifts in a positive direction?

4.      Who inspires you? What word describes them?

 

Idea Incubation

1.      How do you feel when you think of this word?

2.      Does this word apply broadly to your life? The more areas for which it is useful, the more powerful the word.

3.      Are you ready for this word? Is this the right year for it, or will it serve you better later?

 

Make the word part of your day

A word will only be useful to you if you hold it in your mind. Here are a few ideas for you:

1.      Write the word in a prominent place – by your bed, bathroom mirror, in your daily planner, incorporate it into jewelry or a piece of art

2.      Incorporate the word in a daily meditation

3.      Journal with the word in mind. Set an intention every morning with respect to the word. Reflect each night on how you showed up. Celebrate the wins. Learn from the challenges.

4.      Tell others about your word – incorporate it in regular meetings with your coach, good friends or therapist

For those who are curious, my Focus Words of the Year have been

2015 – Replenish (Cluster words: heal, rest, rejuvenate)

2016 – Transform (Cluster words: change, reinvent, progress)

2017 – Grace (Cluster words: calm, strength, serenity)

2018 – Cultivate (Cluster words: grow, nourish, feed)

2019 – Trust (Cluster words: believe, faith)

 

What word will you choose, and why? Go ahead and send me a tweet!

_______________________________________________________________

I speak and coach to inspire sustainable performance. Find out more at www.clarekumar.com

Filed Under: Awareness, Intention, Uncategorized

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Productivity catalyst, highly sensitive executive coach, and speaker, Clare Kumar cultivates sustainable performance in busy professionals so they can keep making rich contributions in all areas of life and achieve greater fulfillment.

She inspires leaders, professionals, employees and entrepreneurs to respect humanity and boost performance through marrying productivity and pleasure. After all, why shouldn’t you have fun while getting things done?

 

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how should a leader behave? and how does this rela how should a leader behave? and how does this relate to pie?

Leadership Coach, @shedinspires , explains it best:

🥧 I think the biggest thing with leadership is there's no such thing as a perfect leader. there's no such thing as a perfect human. I think we can take a slice of many people's pies, to figure out what's our way. I don't think there's right and wrong. I think there's our way.

🏆 I think every leader, of which everyone can choose to be a leader because it's a behaviour set, we can figure out what are our values, what do I care about, and how do I behave in a way that is aligned with that, which is authenticity, and when you find people who believe what you believe and you behave in that way, you get a following. you're a leader.

🔗link to listen/watch/read the podcast is in the comments 

#everyonedeservesaHappySpace 

#speakingup #inclusion #safety #leadership #culture #neurodiversity
Instagram post 17994566822269878 Instagram post 17994566822269878
this beautiful voice made up for all the dirt, dis this beautiful voice made up for all the dirt, disrepair and the aggressively, angry rider in my car tonight. 

thank you @charmiemusic 

humans need you.
“hopefully we have cultures where the risk to sp “hopefully we have cultures where the risk to speak up, the fear to speak up is surmountable. we shouldn't have to make a point to speak up. It should just happen. that's the sign of a healthy speak-up culture is, it isn't a big deal. it's just what we do around here.”

🎙this powerful statement is from Leadership Coach, @shedinspires, in our conversation on the latest episode of the “Happy Space Podcast”.

Stephen shares 

📖 why he wrote “Speak-Up Culture”

🥒 how leaders can turn into bad pickles

🗣 advice for speaking up

🥇an opportunity to win a copy of his book! 

be the tenth person to comment on this episode on Instagram/Youtube/Twitter/Facebook/Linkedin and tag both Stephen Shedletsky and Clare Kumar and the book is yours!

tune in to this conversation as we explore why Stephen felt the need to write this book now, how our environment can pressure us into being unethical, and the value of transitioning to a speak-up culture.

🔗link to listen/watch/read the podcast is in the bio 

#everyonedeservesaHappySpace

#speakingup #inclusion #safety #leadership #culture #neurodiversity
🎙Director of Nook®, David O’Coimin explains 🎙Director of Nook®, David O’Coimin explains some of the ways a Nook Pod improves the soundscape in our conversation in episode 7 of the “Happy Space Podcast”.

📣 Nook has a scientifically different sound pressure inside than it does outside. we focus a lot on removing high-frequency noise. we focus a lot on creating a sort of low-frequency hum within the space, almost audible. 

😮 you put your head inside and you can see people go, “okay, how is that happening? I'm in one now, which has a door on, which is the solo booth.” and it's the only one we put a door on. the rest of the products are all open for the reason of inclusivity and feeling connected to the environment.

⛑ so when there's no door and it sounds different inside, people can be startled and quite taken aback by that. but after that first, sort of shock what you get is this, you see this relaxing that occurs, this calm that almost washes over people. so that calm is an important first element of the product.

where could you use a Nook® in your workplace?

🔗link to listen/watch/read the podcast is in the bio

#everyonedeservesaHappySpace

#neurodiversity #sensitivity #safespace #inclusivity #respect #noisereduction
we have a lot to be proud of. i saw “299 Queen S we have a lot to be proud of. i saw “299 Queen Street West” last night - a documentary about the ground-breaking nation’s music station. catch it on @cravecanada - streaming in Dec and touring the country as well through November. 

muchmusic was so very innovative and inclusive. 

props to the vj’s who shaped the show with their innate curiosity and love of trying new things. 
and to the film maker @seanmenard who bravely rented out roy thompson hall for and filled it!

@ericaehm  so much to be proud of!

@denisedonlon 
you were a queen in that suit. what great contributions you have made 

@sookyinleee loved learning more about you 

@billwelychka 
congrats on your book and happiness 

@steveanthonyonline so glad you didn’t go over the edge

@rick_campanelli aka “the temp”

@strombo your bowie interview is a fave of mine

@monica.deol it was wonderful to see an indian woman on tv. you inspired!

the movie also  included an all-time fave bowie interview where he asked mtv why they were not playing the amazing black music being made at the time. ♥️

speakers corner and electric circus were such fun. i think we could all use a daytime dance show now, don’t you @monica.deol ?

this movie made me proud to be 🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦

#muchmusic #canadianfilm #documentary #indie #culture #fun #fan
i eat this almost every day. breakfast is somethin i eat this almost every day. breakfast is something i choose to simplify. decisions take energy.

others might choose wardrobe.

what do you choose to think less about?
i ache for the challenge of this day for those in i ache for the challenge of this day for those in and close to this community. you are seen and you are loved.
how can we be neuroinclusive? Strategy Lead for G how can we be neuroinclusive?

Strategy Lead for Google Global Events, Megan Henshall, talks about designing with neuroinclusion in mind:

🧠 neuro-inclusion needs to be a main ingredient in your experience design recipe because there are a lot of people that are coming to events who are suffering in silence or not coming at all. 

🔀 there's a statistic from an organization called EventWell, and 85% of the neurodivergent people that they interviewed have not attended an event because they thought it would be triggering or overwhelming for them, but that's sad. they have every right to be there.

have you ever opted out of an event because it felt unwelcoming?

🔗link to listen/watch/read the podcast is in the bio

#everyonedeservesaHappySpace

#neurodiversity #inclusion #compassion #neuroinclusion #inclusiveleadership #hsp #leadershipstrategy #events
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