Skills

The ABCs of Behavior Change (TM) – for habits that stick

 

Let me state for the record that though there is a huge focus on making resolutions, I think the new year is one of the toughest times to adopt a new behavior. Many of us have just come through holidays when schedules were thrown to the wind, indulgences beckoned at every turn, and in the northern hemisphere, the days were dark and cold. There is less energy and momentum for the kinds of changes that people generally like to make which are most often about health and self-improvement.1 On top of that, we just have just come through 2020, the year which seemed to laugh in the face of goal setting.

That said, a recent survey reveals 74% of adult Americans are starting the year off with a resolution (up 15% from the year prior), and a full 55% think they will follow through.2 While 77% of people can make the desired change for a week, research shows only 19% of people can hold onto their changes for two years.3 Not surprisingly, both the percentage of people who make resolutions and the conviction in upholding them both decline with age.4

There are excellent books on the topic of making a habit stick, such as Charles Duhigg’s The Power of Habit which analyzes the process of habit, and more recently, James Clear’s Atomic Habits, with steps for each part of the habit loop. To summarize, you need a trigger that is obvious, a desire to engage in the act, a low barrier to action, and gratification upon completion.

Through coaching hundreds of people wanting to be either more organized or more productive, I noticed challenges in a slightly different way and offer a model to help, The ABCs of Behavior Change™. It offers five progressive steps to bring more commitment to the change you want to make and set you up for success.

Before getting into the techniques of implementing a specific change we must connect deeply with why it matters. If that connection to reason is missing, you might get started on a change due to some external motivation, and this may be enough for some people who fall into Gretchen Rubin’s tendencies driven by others’ expectations (read Gretchen’s book The Four Tendencies for more on this), but it may not enough to make it stick for the long term. Let’s dive in!

 

The ABCs of Behavior Change

A – Acknowledge

Acknowledge and accept the advantage the change will bring you. If you are still doubting, dig deeper to understand how the action will really help you. Do you truly buy into the benefit? What other questions need answering?

 

B – Believe

Believe that you are worth it. Making a change might mean putting yourself first and setting boundaries. For some, this is very uncomfortable. Are you ready to dance in discomfort? Can you give yourself permission to take action?

 

C – Cultivate

Cultivate an environment that encourages and supports you in making the change. This includes your physical environment and the people around you. Do you feel supported? Will you ask for what you need?

 

D – Defend

Defend, with grace, the boundaries you rely on to follow through on the change. Play with and practice respectful language to help others understand your priorities. Become more and more comfortable saying no. How will you play a graceful defense?

 

E – Engage

Engage deeply in the moment you complete the action. Note how you feel physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Let the positive feelings you discover be your intrinsic motivation inspire you to take action again. Will you stop and tune in?

 

Move through each of these steps to build a happy habit – one that you look forward to completing. If for some reason you break the chain, engage in this bonus step.

F – Forgive

Forgive yourself for not sticking to the change you wanted to make, but don’t stop there. Figure out which one of the first five steps wasn’t setting you up for success. Go back to that step, re-examine it, reconnect with it or adjust and move forward.

 

SOURCES

  1. Top New Year resolutions

The data is based on an online survey of 1,790 US adults born between 1928 to 2002 commissioned by Finder and conducted by Pureprofile in September 2020. Participants were paid volunteers.

New Year’s resolution statistics

  1. Percent making resolutions

https://www.finder.com/new-years-resolution-statistics

 

  1. New Year resolution failure rate

Norcross, J C, and D J Vangarelli. “The resolution solution: longitudinal examination of New Year’s change attempts.” Journal of substance abuse vol. 1,2 (1988): 127-34. doi:10.1016/s0899-3289(88)80016-6

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/2980864/

 

 

  1. New Year Resolutions and Conviction by Generation

New Year’s resolution statistics

 

If you’re looking for support in making a change, I offer private and group coaching for individuals and leaders.  I invite you to book a call with me to explore.

My Simple Four-Step P.L.A.N.™ to Get Organized!

Thinking about getting organized can often be overwhelming. Like any big project, it feels much easier to accomplish and far less daunting if you can break it down into manageable pieces.

Organizing should be looked at from beginning to end. Impulsively we might want to ‘fix’ a space by shopping for an inspiring new piece. Often when bringing back something that looked great in store, whether it be a piece of furniture or a storage piece, we find it simply doesn’t function as it should at home.

Here is my simple four-step P.L.A.N.™ to get organized which looks at the process from beginning to end to help make sure the energy you invest will pay off. Consider enlisting help if you find yourself stuck in one area and unable to move forward.

PRIORITIZE

Identify the purpose of the space – both what you want to do and how you want to feel. Aim for five or fewer activities. Find words to describe the atmosphere of the room – serene, energetic, calm, homey, minimal, lived-in. Articulating your vision is important for it is your guide through the other parts of the organizing process. If you don’t start here, you are not clear about what you’re aiming for.

The challenges here include deciding between competing priorities and, if you live with others, competing styles. Often, it is an over-looked discussion but it is also helpful to make sure everyone is on board in creating and sustaining an environment in which you can all thrive.

LIBERATE

Once you have your vision, you will want to let go of items that don’t support it. When you let go of possessions you liberate both your space and your mind.

The process of liberating includes

  • Sorting: to know what you have
  • Editing: to identify what to keep
  • Divesting: to remove items that don’t belong

For many, this is often the hardest part of getting organized. There are many reasons we hang onto things. None of us are immune! I sometimes have conversations with myself to let things go. (I still have ceramic beer steins from my high school and universities.)

ARRANGE

For each activity, create a zone to house furniture and storage related to it. Place items in your space so that they are comfortable to access and are well-preserved. This means paying attention to the nature of:

  • The space: such as size, shape and architectural features
  • The item: such as size, weight, fragility, perishability
  • Your preferences: such as fold vs. hang, pluck vs. rummage, hanger vs. hook

Challenges include moving to the Arrange stage too early in the process. If you’ve ever had bins and baskets that don’t work, this may be why. Also, it is important to remain self-aware when shopping. The lure of fashionable form may be regretted if function has been overlooked.

NURTURE

Creating order is one thing. Maintaining it is another. We all have different tolerance levels for chaos, so it is important to develop habits that suit you. This may mean cleaning your desk at the end of every day, or clear the clothes off the chair in your room every three days.

The challenges here is the belief that once set up, a system should work forever with no effort. This is not true. Systems should be designed to work with you, so if you have been thorough and honest in assessing your preferences, you’re more likely to achieve quick success. It’s also easy to forget to devote time to restoring order.

If you find things getting out of hand, or if you experience a life transition, it’s a good time to revisit the P.L.A.N.™

PRODUCTIVITY TRUTH: Vision is your guide through the organizing process. Start here to achieve your goal.

Signs of Disorganization at Work

In a 2011 study commissioned by Professional Organizers in Canada, 7 in 10 Canadians who work say their workplace is disorganized and report feelings of stress, frustration and failure. Disorganization not only affects the individual’s work, it affects others – both colleagues and customers. Added up, there is a significant cost to being disorganized.

Signs of Disorganization at Work

A messy desk may be the most obvious sign of disorganization; it is however, not the only indication. Keep a lookout for:

  1. Time lost searching for misplaced items for information.
  2. Being late for or missing appointments.
  3. Missing work deliverables or submitting incomplete or unprofessional work.
  4. Not spending time on the most important tasks.
  5. Missing work due to stress or preventable workplace injuries.

The impact of a disorganized approach to work includes:

  1. Lower overall productivity and/or working longer hours.
  2. Lack of credibility.
  3. Job dissatisfaction and other negative feelings.
  4. Lack of career growth.
  5. Absenteeism.

Getting organized is not about moving from procrastination to perfection. It is about being the most productive person you can be. A sense of achievement is indeed what drives many of us. There is research to suggest happy people are more productive people. I suggest the reverse is also true – productive people are more satisfied people. Now, what will you spend all that extra time on?

TRUTHBOMB: Getting organized is not about moving from procrastination to perfection. It is about being the most productive person you can be.

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