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Peace of Mind

Informed Consent – As an HSP, how much information do you want to health professionals to share?

On a Friday morning in March, I was feeling quite proud of myself having had my swim, and was making my breakfast in time to eat it before my 10 am mastermind call. My fellow mastermind members normally have to endure me eating on the call (though after living in Tokyo where eating in public is not socially acceptable, I do try to cover my mouth while taking a bite – but that’s another conversation).

I must have been less present than necessary as when chopping fresh dill to add to my omelette with my brand-new kitchen knife, I miscalculated the length of my middle finger and in an instant decided to shorten it. Whoops. I knew right away that what I had done was not good, but didn’t know how bad it was. 

 

Clare standing in front of Emergency Room doors with bandaged fingers. She is wearing a medical mask, pink scarf and colourful sweater.

At the entrance to St. Joseph’s Hospital in Toronto that morning, my Love, Jacques who as you may know works for the emergency medical service was at his place about thirty minutes away and still sleeping. Not for long. I called a couple of times, the second call breaking through his “do not disturb” setting. Phew!

Oh, my, I was talking a mile a minute, telling him what happened with my hand up in the air and a paper towel compress on. I wasn’t sure if it was serious enough to need help or could be looked after at home. Jacques quickly decided that he would come. During the call, I calmed down significantly and started thinking about what I could do knowing that Jacques was on his way. I continued to regain my composure and made a few calls to figure out the next steps. I tried the following:


911 – they can’t give you advice on whether their help is required so they suggested calling our provincial telehealth line where you can speak to a nurse.

Telehealth – after a lengthy intake which includes marketing questions (that no one wants when dealing with a health issue!) I was told it would take several hours to receive a return call. Come to think of it, I have never received a callback…

My doctor’s office – they have a walk-in clinic but there were no doctors available. I could have a phone appointment with my doctor in an hour if I wished. I said yes, but didn’t anticipate hanging around.

 

When Jacques arrived, off we went to the local hospital emergency room.

Here’s what I noticed while there:

– When dealing with a real emergency, I talked myself through what I knew and immediately reached out for help. 

– I cared about doing the “right” thing in accessing medical care. I didn’t want to unnecessarily tax our urgent care system.

– I calmed down by breathing AND talking it out. Later on, I cried out some of the stress.

– I appreciated every kindness, from Sebastian in triage letting me know he would call ahead to the treatment area and let them know I would be coming and seen quickly, to Mallory who spoke slowly and clearly when giving directions to that station. She cared that I was comprehending and wow, did I appreciate that.

I was treated quite quickly and very grateful for the thoughtful care though there was one area of service I thought could have been more nuanced and I’m curious what you think.

I tend to be a questioner (one of Gretchen Rubin’s “Four Tendencies”) and take comfort in information. I want to know what to expect. For example, I inhaled every word of “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” when I was pregnant. Knowing lets me prepare.

I recognize that others are happier “not knowing”. They are ready to take whatever comes as it comes, trusting they will be able to handle it. This is my Love, Jacques.  And, not gonna lie, I’m a little envious. But given that I’m me, I will likely continue to love data.

When Dr. Da Silva, the ER doc was looking after me, he let me know that part of the treatment could be very uncomfortable and freezing was an option. Jacques was with me and having seen many treatments and the associated discomfort, and knowing me and my low threshold for pain, advised me to take the numbing. 

The doctor told me it would be a “poke”.

Fine, I thought. A poke I can deal with. 

 

Um, not so much. It was painful and disturbing for somewhere between thirty seconds to a minute…or maybe longer. It certainly seemed longer.

During this part of the treatment, all of my composure was gone. I said words I shouldn’t and cried.



When the doctor came back, I said, “I don’t hate you. And, I’m sorry.”

The rest went swimmingly. 

 

Before I left though, I let the doctor know that I would have appreciated a more realistic description of what to expect. “Poke” wasn’t the right term. I think I would have known to anchor in my breath more deeply and to expect to stay there. Closing my eyes and holding Jacques’ hand (after telling the doctor and Jacques that science says this helps) was indeed helpful but not enough.

To address the fact that some people like to know and some people don’t question, perhaps a health care provider can ask how much you want to know. I recognize that in some situations, this is not realistic, but if time allows, this question could help guide the way a practitioner proceeds.

I think of my massage therapist who moves around the table always keeping a hand on me. I think of the MRI technician who tells me how long each imaging session will be after which I can move a little bit.

What do you think?

Do you want more information or less?

And would you appreciate being asked?

If you’re a health practitioner and have an opinion, I’d love to hear it.

Find me on twitter @clarekumar.

Author: Clare Kumar

Filed Under: HSP - Highly Sensitive Person, Mindset, Peace of Mind Tagged With: care, Clare Kumar, cut finger, doctor, Emergency Room, highly sensitive person, informed consent, patient, patient care, questions

3 Ways to Keep Your Mindset Strong Through the Fall and Winter

This is a sponsored post. Opinions, as always, are my own.

With winter around the corner and Covid-19 restrictions increasing in many places, if you want to feel as productive and calm as possible this season, you’ll want to do everything you can to keep your mindset strong. In fact, I consider mindset Productivity Table Stake number one. If you can hold onto a positive outlook, you can more easily maintain your commitment to the intentions you have set for yourself. If you lose positivity, you may find yourself spiraling in a negative direction.

Here are a few things you can do to keep your mindset strong even though the weather and the crisis we find ourselves in might be pulling you down.

  1. Fight the effects of low light

Happy Light therapy lamp from Verilux

According to the Canadian Association of Mental Health (CAMH), severe Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) affects up to 15% of people, with 2-3% suffering severe symptoms. You might know it as the “Winter Blues”. SAD can cause depression, lethargy, and anhedonia (the inability to feel pleasure). It also contributes to weight gain as we look for alternative sources of serotonin to boost our mood…which may explain the search for sourdough in the absence of sunlight. It’s more common in adults than kids, though starts to wane after age 50 (yay!), and it affects women a whopping 9 times more than men.

I’ve been looking for strategies to counter the effects since my 20’s and since my number one plan of travelling to a sunny spot is foiled this year, I am committing to something that has helped me immensely over the past few years: light therapy. My exploration of light therapy actually began in late 1994. I returned to Toronto after almost a year of travel around the world, predominantly in sun-filled locations like Hawaii, Australia, South-East Asia, and India. November in Toronto is traditionally gloomy and grey. The leaves have fallen and there is not yet snow on the ground to brighten up the landscape, nor the sparkly lights of the coming festive season. Downtown especially, the ground blends with the stone buildings which soar upwards to mix with the bland sky. Finding myself in a new job (which admittedly was not right for me), I found my energy depleting and began looking for strategies to help. I tried relaxation therapy, which felt quite good but did not really bring back my mojo, and then stumbled upon a University of Toronto study for light therapy.

I brought home a rather large light fixture and for two weeks, every morning at 6:30 am, before heading downtown to the office, I sat in my dark dining room under a wide fluorescent bulb dosing on full-spectrum light for half an hour. It was uncomfortably bright given the contrast in the room and you couldn’t really do anything else but sit there.

Fast forward to today, and not only has light therapy has now been proven as a successful remedy to counter SAD and the Winter Blues, but it is also much easier to integrate into your life. Please note though that it is a therapy and as such you will want to discuss it with your health professional. There are conditions that do not benefit from dosing in extra light such as bipolar disorder and skin or eye sensitivities. The Mayo Clinic has a helpful article on considerations.

For several years I have used light therapy lamps from Verilux. My current model is a slim, LED, full-spectrum light that doses 10,000 lux in half an hour if you’re sitting within 24 inches of the lamp. It fits in about the size of a postcard and now that the lamp is an LED, it packs flat and is sturdy enough to travel well so you easily take it with you.

Place the light to the side and sit within 24 inches of the light. You are not meant to look directly into the light. Controls offer the ability to dim the light to a more comfortable intensity and color, but be aware you may need to spend longer time bathing to have the same results. Experiment with the settings to find the most comfortable practice for you.  The dimmer the light, the longer you might need it to be on. A timer has been included in the latest model to help you manage your dosing.

I used to want to crawl into bed around 6:30 pm every night when I got home from work. The lamp made such a difference to my energy level that I was able to travel to the gym for an evening yoga class.

In addition to a light lamp, I encourage fitting in daylight walks and seeking out brighter places to sit when indoors. Poorly lit basement offices may indeed be bringing you down.

 

  1. Reduce known stressors – Hold onto peace of mind with protection from identity theft

Woman using smart phone in cafe. hand holding smart phone white screen
Image: Telus

With so much to worry about already, it’s important to act where we can. Statscan says 42% of Canadians report at least one cyber-security incident since the start of the pandemic1, and the Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre tallies the financial impact of fraud year-to-date in Canada to be over $67 million.2  Canadians are not only spending more time online, they are doing a wider variety of things there. In June 2020, the Canadian government urged Canadians to take action to be more secure. According to new research, while about 90% of Canadians think internet safety is an issue, only 18% are doing something about it.3

Telus Online Security has partnered with Norton Lifelock to bring Canadians a suite of new tools to help prevent cybersecurity issues, in a multi-layered approach. Tools include device protection, the provisioning of a virtual private network (VPN) which lets you drive on your own highway so-to-speak making sure transactions are safe even if you’re on public wi-fi. Identity theft protection is what caught my eye as I recently found fraud on my credit card. Not only is your credit monitored, but additional support is also available from a Restoration Agent to help you problem-solve if you do get attacked. They can help you and even take over phone calls to sort out the mess freeing up your time to do other things.

Dark Web Notification
Dark Web Notification alerting me to a potential data exposure

There are a variety of levels of service from $6 per month (for device protection) through $30 per month for greater protections and a larger number of devices (pricing as at November 2020). It is important to note that this service does not guarantee protection, rather it offers multiple tools to mitigate the very real threats. It is one simple step you can take to reduce worry and preserve mindset.

 

  1. Use colour to boost your energy, and the energy of those around you

Have you noticed different colours affect your mood? Science shows that colour can affect performance in a variety of ways:

  • Taking a test after seeing red can improve accuracy, while blue boosts creativity.4
  • Pills of warm colours had a stimulating effect. Cool colours had a relaxing influence. 5

Tip 1 – Bring colour into your environment

I painted my wall pink last year and it gives me a lift every time I see it. It seems to be a hit with others as well since March when all my segments and presentations went virtual. I’ve even got clients because of it. Bathe in your favourite colour.

Theo, one of my two polydactyls loves posing! I think this is the third set 0f tv segments he’s appeared in. Paint colour: Peony by Benjamin Moore

 

Tip 2 – Bring colour into your wardrobe

I realized over ten years ago that when I wore bold colours that suited me, they seemed to have a positive effect on the people around me. This coincided with the start of regular television appearances. Take a look at a tv audience sometime and you’ll notice the producers will invite people with solid, bold colours to fill the frame for they are compelling on camera.

The powerful side effect of wearing distinct colours that suit you is that it makes you memorable. See how beautifully a client of mine, ghostwriter, and mental health speaker Cindy Tschosik, does it in her richly coloured magenta top. Cindy is getting loads of compliments on her bold purple wall.

Ghostwriter and Mental Health speaker, Cindy Tschosik rocking a magenta top in front of her bold purple wall.

And your accessories…

Fellow speaker, Emily Nichols, indulging me as I tripped out on finding glasses to match my coat!

One day last year I stumbled upon a store from Australian-based Dresden Vision in Toronto, one of a handful of physical stores in Canada, Australia, and New Zealand. Don’t worry, they have International shopping online. The colourful window display instantly made me curious. I went in and bought four pairs on the spot. Why? They make very affordable frames (from $59 for simple prescription lenses) and arms variety of colours…which can be mixed and matched! I was over-the-top excited. Prices are kept down because they offer one widely flattering style of frame in four sizes. With 16 standard colours plus occasional limited and blended colour editions, you can coordinate with any outfit. They also have the lens cutting machine and an optician right in the store making same day availability a possibility. No hiding behind white lab coats and sending glasses away.

Frame and arm colours currently offered by Dresden Vision.

Parents, these glasses are incredibly sturdy and come with a lifetime warranty making them an excellent solution for kids. Note – I have quite a small head and wear the XS frames for my glasses and a S frame for my sunglasses.

Dresden Vision kindly provided me with a few more colours and frames to play with. So appreciated because it seems these days I need a pair in every room!

 

SOURCES

  1. Statistics Canada, “Canadians spend more money and time online during pandemic and over two-fifths report a cyber incident,”
    https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/daily-quotidien/201014/dq201014a-eng.htm
  2. Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre
    https://www.antifraudcentre-centreantifraude.ca/index-eng.htm
  3. Angus Reid report commissioned by TELUS
  4. Colour and performance
    Mehta R, Zhu RJ. Blue or red? Exploring the effect of color on cognitive task performances. Science. 2009 Feb 27;323(5918):1226-9. doi: 10.1126/science.1169144. Epub 2009 Feb 5. PMID: 19197022.
    https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19197022/
  5. Effect of colour of drugs
    de Craen AJ, Roos PJ, de Vries AL, Kleijnen J. Effect of colour of drugs: systematic review of perceived effect of drugs and of their effectiveness. BMJ. 1996;313(7072):1624-1626. doi:10.1136/bmj.313.7072.1624
    https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2359128/

__________________________________________________________________________________

If you or someone you know is struggling to feel calm and productive working from home, please check out the free resources and online program I created for you here.
I also have a few spots open for private group coaching for individuals and leaders. I invite you to book a call with me to find out more.

Filed Under: Business Organizing, Light, Mindset, Peace of Mind, Productivity, Wellness Tagged With: color, cybersecurity, light therapy, SAD, winter blues

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Enjoy this code, CHAIRLOVE, to receive a special price for your Core Chair.

Visit the CoreChair website to order. 

In Canada: https://ca.corechair.com/
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Productivity catalyst, highly sensitive executive coach, and speaker, Clare Kumar cultivates sustainable performance in busy professionals so they can keep making rich contributions in all areas of life and achieve greater fulfillment.

She inspires leaders, professionals, employees and entrepreneurs to respect humanity and boost performance through marrying productivity and pleasure. After all, why shouldn’t you have fun while getting things done?

 

From the Blog

Hold that door….! Opportunities to Improve Accessibility are Closer Than You Think

Success Strategies for Back to School

Walking Into a Glass Wall and Why I Can Point a Finger at Poor Design

how should a leader behave? and how does this rela how should a leader behave? and how does this relate to pie?

Leadership Coach, @shedinspires , explains it best:

🥧 I think the biggest thing with leadership is there's no such thing as a perfect leader. there's no such thing as a perfect human. I think we can take a slice of many people's pies, to figure out what's our way. I don't think there's right and wrong. I think there's our way.

🏆 I think every leader, of which everyone can choose to be a leader because it's a behaviour set, we can figure out what are our values, what do I care about, and how do I behave in a way that is aligned with that, which is authenticity, and when you find people who believe what you believe and you behave in that way, you get a following. you're a leader.

🔗link to listen/watch/read the podcast is in the comments 

#everyonedeservesaHappySpace 

#speakingup #inclusion #safety #leadership #culture #neurodiversity
Instagram post 17994566822269878 Instagram post 17994566822269878
this beautiful voice made up for all the dirt, dis this beautiful voice made up for all the dirt, disrepair and the aggressively, angry rider in my car tonight. 

thank you @charmiemusic 

humans need you.
“hopefully we have cultures where the risk to sp “hopefully we have cultures where the risk to speak up, the fear to speak up is surmountable. we shouldn't have to make a point to speak up. It should just happen. that's the sign of a healthy speak-up culture is, it isn't a big deal. it's just what we do around here.”

🎙this powerful statement is from Leadership Coach, @shedinspires, in our conversation on the latest episode of the “Happy Space Podcast”.

Stephen shares 

📖 why he wrote “Speak-Up Culture”

🥒 how leaders can turn into bad pickles

🗣 advice for speaking up

🥇an opportunity to win a copy of his book! 

be the tenth person to comment on this episode on Instagram/Youtube/Twitter/Facebook/Linkedin and tag both Stephen Shedletsky and Clare Kumar and the book is yours!

tune in to this conversation as we explore why Stephen felt the need to write this book now, how our environment can pressure us into being unethical, and the value of transitioning to a speak-up culture.

🔗link to listen/watch/read the podcast is in the bio 

#everyonedeservesaHappySpace

#speakingup #inclusion #safety #leadership #culture #neurodiversity
🎙Director of Nook®, David O’Coimin explains 🎙Director of Nook®, David O’Coimin explains some of the ways a Nook Pod improves the soundscape in our conversation in episode 7 of the “Happy Space Podcast”.

📣 Nook has a scientifically different sound pressure inside than it does outside. we focus a lot on removing high-frequency noise. we focus a lot on creating a sort of low-frequency hum within the space, almost audible. 

😮 you put your head inside and you can see people go, “okay, how is that happening? I'm in one now, which has a door on, which is the solo booth.” and it's the only one we put a door on. the rest of the products are all open for the reason of inclusivity and feeling connected to the environment.

⛑ so when there's no door and it sounds different inside, people can be startled and quite taken aback by that. but after that first, sort of shock what you get is this, you see this relaxing that occurs, this calm that almost washes over people. so that calm is an important first element of the product.

where could you use a Nook® in your workplace?

🔗link to listen/watch/read the podcast is in the bio

#everyonedeservesaHappySpace

#neurodiversity #sensitivity #safespace #inclusivity #respect #noisereduction
we have a lot to be proud of. i saw “299 Queen S we have a lot to be proud of. i saw “299 Queen Street West” last night - a documentary about the ground-breaking nation’s music station. catch it on @cravecanada - streaming in Dec and touring the country as well through November. 

muchmusic was so very innovative and inclusive. 

props to the vj’s who shaped the show with their innate curiosity and love of trying new things. 
and to the film maker @seanmenard who bravely rented out roy thompson hall for and filled it!

@ericaehm  so much to be proud of!

@denisedonlon 
you were a queen in that suit. what great contributions you have made 

@sookyinleee loved learning more about you 

@billwelychka 
congrats on your book and happiness 

@steveanthonyonline so glad you didn’t go over the edge

@rick_campanelli aka “the temp”

@strombo your bowie interview is a fave of mine

@monica.deol it was wonderful to see an indian woman on tv. you inspired!

the movie also  included an all-time fave bowie interview where he asked mtv why they were not playing the amazing black music being made at the time. ♥️

speakers corner and electric circus were such fun. i think we could all use a daytime dance show now, don’t you @monica.deol ?

this movie made me proud to be 🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦

#muchmusic #canadianfilm #documentary #indie #culture #fun #fan
i eat this almost every day. breakfast is somethin i eat this almost every day. breakfast is something i choose to simplify. decisions take energy.

others might choose wardrobe.

what do you choose to think less about?
i ache for the challenge of this day for those in i ache for the challenge of this day for those in and close to this community. you are seen and you are loved.
how can we be neuroinclusive? Strategy Lead for G how can we be neuroinclusive?

Strategy Lead for Google Global Events, Megan Henshall, talks about designing with neuroinclusion in mind:

🧠 neuro-inclusion needs to be a main ingredient in your experience design recipe because there are a lot of people that are coming to events who are suffering in silence or not coming at all. 

🔀 there's a statistic from an organization called EventWell, and 85% of the neurodivergent people that they interviewed have not attended an event because they thought it would be triggering or overwhelming for them, but that's sad. they have every right to be there.

have you ever opted out of an event because it felt unwelcoming?

🔗link to listen/watch/read the podcast is in the bio

#everyonedeservesaHappySpace

#neurodiversity #inclusion #compassion #neuroinclusion #inclusiveleadership #hsp #leadershipstrategy #events
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