Compass

5 Reasons We Hang on to Things

How good are you at letting things go? You’ve probably noticed quite a continuum between those who almost compulsively get rid of things and many who have trouble letting go.

I have a confession to make – one you may not expect to hear. I tend to keep things. It may be because I moved a lot growing up – ten schools in all, or cultural influences, perhaps my personality, I’m not sure why. I sometimes have to have the conversations with myself that I have with my clients!

When does not letting go matter? Our ability to hang onto possessions is really limited by the space we have to store them and by the time and energy it takes to maintain them. If your things are getting in the way of the life you desire to live, if you’re finding that you can’t use your space the way you would like to, then you will want to explore ways to help you let go.

In this article we’ll look at some reasons why we feel compelled to keep things. Often people keep items because of:

Sentimental Value

Objects engage our emotions through all our senses. They can bring back memories which we’re afraid will slip from mind if we don’t keep the trigger. They may be things we put a lot of time and effort in and we want to honour that. Or they may be things that belonged to a loved one that really remind us of them.

Potential Value

These are the items that we see future worth in. The “I could” factor comes into play. I could make a quilt with these scraps of fabric. I could take these postcards and tickets and make a scrapbook. My grandkids could play with these toys.

Current Value

Items that were expensive to purchase and that still have life in them are sometimes difficult to part with even if we are no longer using them. This occurs regularly when people move from one place to another. Furniture from one place may simply not fit in the next, but since it is valuable or seemingly expensive to replace, it stays.

Guilt Value

These are all the things that you are given that you feel compelled to keep. You may even feel you must display them so you don’t hurt someone else’s feelings when they drop by for a visit.

Identity Value

Items related to activities you used to do can bring back the past. If they take up too much space there is a danger that they will keep you from embracing who you are today and who you can be tomorrow.

PRODUCTIVITY TRUTH: If your things are getting in the way of the life you desire to live, explore ways to help you let go.

Put Down the Phone! How Not to Answer Email on Your Vacation

If you’ve got a vacation planned, I’ll bet you’re looking forward to a break from your regular routine. But will you get one?

Put Down the Phone! How Not to Answer Email on Your Vacation
Photo credit: Eric J. Smith – used with permission

Or will you be like this gentleman, so engrossed in his phone, he misses the whale emerging from the ocean right beside him?

According to a 2015 study by Randstad, an HR firm, 40% of Canadians read their email while on vacation. If you’re like the average person who checks email 15 times per day, according to a study from the University of British Columbia, or one of the 75% of people who responds within an hour, you’ve probably wired your brain to repeatedly check for messages and receive a feel good hit of neurotransmitter dopamine, all the while increasing stress levels.

What can you do to counter your now natural inclination to check email? Invited by CBC Radio to share strategies across Canada, I crafted these tips:

Set Intentions for your Vacation

Taking a break is essential to rest, replenish and recharge, to refresh the mind and broaden perspectives. When thinking of your next vacation, write down what you are hoping to achieve. Articulate your vacation objectives. Is it to explore a new place, is it to nurture relationships with family or friends, to volunteer and contribute to others, or simply to stop thinking so much? Whatever you choose, commit to it. Write it down and post it somewhere visible to keep it top of mind. Give yourself permission to focus. It is in the dedication to a priority that we find strength to decline other requests for our time, energy and attention.

For a short video on the value creating memorable moments, check out this clip (5 minutes) from Tony Robbins.

Dedicate Time to Process Email on Your Return

Schedule time to process your inbox when you get back. The time to engage with email is often dismissed as a side activity, and not part of our ‘real work’ when in fact it takes considerable time to handle, often more than an hour per day. Read email from the current date and go backwards. You may find a number of issues have been taken care of in your absence.

Define and Communicate Boundaries

  • Prior to your vacation, add a note to your email signature letting contacts know of your planned absence, including additional time to process email upon your return. This will give the opportunity for people to contact you before you leave if necessary.
  • Craft an “out of office” alert to share your intentions. Let people know you that not only will you be away, but while you’re away, you will not be checking messages.
  • Include contact information for those who may be able to assist while you’re away.

If You’re Feeling Pressured to Respond

While 60% of employees in the Randstad study reported that their bosses don’t expect them to be available when on holidays, 40% do. It can be extra challenging when your workplace culture or leadership doesn’t seem to support taking time off.

Consider the following positive support:

  • An Ernst & Young study from 2006 found that for each additional ten hours of vacation the employees took, year-end performance ratings improved by 8%.
  • France passed a set of labour laws early in 2017 supporting the “right to disconnect” which protects employees from having to respond to emails after hours or on weekends. The move was driven in recognition of increasing stress levels related to the continual demands of work and the blurring of office hours.
  • Daimler goes further and deletes employee emails while on vacation
  • In 2012, Volkswagen stopped all emails to employees’ phones after office hours.

Legislation is a drastic step but must be noted for it reflects the depth of the challenge. It is my hope that conversation and appreciation of the positive benefits will be all you need to craft a truly replenishing time off.

If You Absolutely Have to Check Email, Set Limits

If you choose to engage in work correspondence while on vacation, schedule a time which will interfere least with your vacation objectives. Set limits to avoid spending more time than you intend. Engage the support of your vacation partners to keep you on track!

But, my Phone is Always with Me

If you don’t have the luxury of having a separate phone for work, and especially if you have one inbox to check for all messages like I do, you’ll have to be more determined than ever not to engage in work email.

  • Turn off notifications. This is recommended daily practice, not just on vacation. Notifications are for urgent items or things you will forget to do. I haven’t found one client afraid of forgetting to check their inbox.
  • If you do have to scroll through your inbox you may choose to simply flag work emails for attention later. Do not open and read them.
  • Cycle back to number one. Reread your vacation objectives. Compare how you feel after a restful versus a disrupted sleep? A yoga class in which you focus on your breathing or let your mind race. Tap back into the value of your vacation.

PRODUCTIVITY TRUTH: It is in the dedication to a priority that we find strength to decline other requests for our time, energy and attention.

Book a discovery call with Clare? Click here to contact me.