Coaching Archives - Clare Kumar

Are you a leader who has never believed in working from home? Like Marissa Mayer, former CEO of Yahoo! and my last corporate boss, you think that employees need to be in the office to get the job done. The trouble is with millions of workers now being told to work from home, working from home simply has to work. It’s time for a mindset shift. I must add it is also the time to express the utmost compassion as we navigate this new way of working. We are all suffering different degrees of loss and how you serve as a leader will be remembered.

You may remember Ms. Mayer’s bold move in 2013 ordering all remote workers get back to the office or quit. Some reports suggest it was a much-needed effort to trim the workforce. Whatever the reason, it caused a huge uproar and admonishment from the likes of Richard Branson that it was a step backward.¹There is an abundance of research that confirms productivity and other measures are often improved when employees work from home, but that’s not the point of this post.

In 2008, my then leader became my last solely because of her conviction that employees must be in the office. My kids were three and five years old, and their dad had a demanding job requiring an almost two- and half-hour commute. I had worked from home successfully one day a week, for about a year and was performing well, but that didn’t matter. I was told I had to be in the office every day.

I had started to suffer some symptoms of burnout: headaches, trouble sleeping, low energy to name a few, and wanted to keep contributing if I could preserve my energy by continuing to work some of the time from home. I appealed to my boss’s analytical mind sharing an audit of my responsibilities which revealed that 90% of my interactive work was conducted over the phone or by email and only 10% was completed in person. Nope. Her reply to my offer to work from home 50% of the time was a hard “No”. I found it somewhat ironic that we were working for a company that sold the technology that enabled remote work.

Back to you. Let’s look at some of the concerns leaders have about people working from home. And by concerns, I really mean fears. Fears are based on beliefs, and it is those beliefs we must question, understand, and deal with. Along with each concern, I’ve included some questions you might ask yourself to help shift your thinking.

1. I can’t get anything done when I work from home, so how can anyone else?

Here you might be extrapolating your own beliefs about what works for you as being true for others.

Ask yourself:

Am I being fair in thinking others will have the same challenges I do?
How might I confirm that an employee is performing adequately?
What communication could help me?
What about different reporting?
How will I bring this up if I am concerned?

2. I had to come into the office, so my team should, too.

In this case, you might be craving a sense of fairness.

Ask yourself:

Is it reasonable to expect conditions to stay the same?
Is it fair to restrict employees as if they are?
What do I need to let go of to see this as an opportunity

3. If I can’t see someone working, how do I know they’re working?

This mindset reflects a lack of trust and possibly a need for control. It may have something to do with your own work style, but not necessarily. Note, the answer does not lie with an increase in remotely tracking work through random screenshots. Autonomy matters.

Ask yourself:

What is causing me not to trust this employee?
If there is a valid reason, can we build trust, or is this indicative of a bigger problem?
If there isn’t, what can I do to experiment with trust?
If I’m micromanaging, what effect could this have on my team?

4. I don’t think the team will collaborate effectively working from home.

There is no doubt in-person contact is the richest form we have but with video communication readily available we have a close second. Random interactions won’t happen, but it doesn’t mean you can’t encourage them.

Ask yourself:

What can I do to stimulate informal communication?
What formal initiatives could help encourage more effective collaboration?
Could I improve psychological safety?
Could I create more time to be creative, explore and experiment?
How can employees be encouraged to build relationships at varying levels and across the organization?

5. We won’t have enough role modeling of leadership skills.

My former boss explained to me that this was her primary reason she wanted me in the office full time. We know from watching politics that leaders can be very effective from afar. So let’s not limit leadership by geography.

Ask yourself:

What skills do I want to see shared?
Between whom?
In which other ways can this happen?

If you’ve been reluctant to embrace working from home, you owe it to your team to think more positively. Your team needs you to believe in them right now. It might require some creative thinking and thoughtful communication, and it will be worth it.

1 https://www.latimes.com/business/la-xpm-2013-feb-26-la-fi-yahoo-telecommuting-20130226-story.html

In April and May, 2020 I will be offering Live Q&A Zoom calls every Monday at noon EDT to answer questions on better working from home, personal productivity, and organization. Sign up by visiting www.clarekumar.com/workfromhome. You’ll receive my top “Three Ways to Better Work from Home” download and be invited to sign up for the session of your choice.

I also have a few spots open for private group coaching for individuals and leaders. Book a call with me to find out more.

The end of a year and certainly a decade (whether technically it is the end or not, it is perceived to be, and that is what matters) for many of us is a time to reflect and set intentions for the upcoming year.

My wish for you is that you be kind to yourself in this process and to stay in a place of noticing rather than judging.

If you’re like me some of the important things you intended to accomplish this year did not happen. Here’s an example: I am still in the midst of writing a book that has been an active project for the past couple of years. Three things have affected the pace of its genesis.

1. Respecting capacity

I have significantly reduced the amount of time I spend working. As an entrepreneur faced with messages that growth is imperative and I must hustle, I’ve instead worked hard to replace FOMO – the fear of missing out, with JOMO – the joy of missing out. Honestly, I now say, “Chuck hustle!”. Use a stronger word if it moves you.

As some of you know, I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis five years ago. Strange and telling symptoms showed up two years prior to that, leaving me in pain and robbing me of sleep. MS is a strange disease that shows up differently in each person. I have made significant changes in the past few years to not only help me live with the disease when it rears its ugly head but to proactively keep myself as healthy as I can. This may help explain my increased focus on wellness and the development of Productivity Table Stakes™. I am my own guinea pig, testing strategies and sharing what I’ve learned.

I credit living well with MS to fiercely protecting sleep, exercising every day, aiming for rich nutrients per bite and doing my best to avoid stress. All these efforts take consistent efforts of time, energy and attention, the most easily controlled parts of STEAM Resources™ (Space, Time, Energy, Attention, Money). The bottom line is that to keep being of value and giving to others, I have to honour my capacity and make sure I don’t run out of STEAM.

Permission granted to honour my capacity.

2. Measuring the right things

As I was writing part two of the book, I realized I needed more research on the concepts I wanted to share. New information is always being created so I knew at some point I would have to cut off my reading and come back to writing. What I noticed though, is that while I measured the words I wrote and counted them as real results, I wasn’t taking stock of the vast literature I’d been reading. That counts, too, and will make the book a richer read. Reframing has helped. I’ve also listened to other authors share their process (Tim Ferris and Susan Cain have a fabulous podcast episode on this and speaking, as well. Link below.). Tim does all his research and then sits down to write. Perhaps that would have been smoother, but you don’t know what you don’t know.

Permission granted to take the time it needs to craft a useful book that will serve readers for the long term.

3. Investing in what’s truly important

As I’ve been learning in my research around Connection, one of the Productivity Table Stakes. Humans are hard-wired for connection. The amount though varies per person, right my lovely introverts? Humans are alike in so many ways, but as we dig a bit deeper, we have incredible differences that deserve respect.

I left my marriage over three years ago largely for lack of connection. My ex is a loving father and man of integrity but our connection styles never meshed. Living on my own, I found myself feeling lonely last year. After returning from a trip to India in which I was surrounded by family, it was evident to me that I need to have more meaningful, regular connections with people who matter to me.

My kids (and my beloved pets) stay with their dad, a decision which some viewed negatively rather than understanding it is what works best for our family so I live alone. As a solopreneur, when not with clients my work life is also spent alone. While this allows me the peace I need to hold onto my creative energy and avoid the taxes of navigating a busy city, I realized I had to make a more consistent effort to be with people and enjoy valuable social connections.

And, so I did. I reprioritized nurturing relationships this year. I invited people more. I said yes to time with people just to interact rather than achieve a goal. I participated more fully with my speaking network. Social media was and continues to be part of my life as it helps to build and maintain these connections (although has its rabbit hole risks, so I discovered it was important to set some time limits!) Perhaps most significantly, I was blessed to have swiped right at the end of May and met my loving partner, Jacques.

When I left my marriage, I knew I wanted what I call a “Chapter Two” to include a strong, loving relationship with someone I celebrate and who celebrates me for who I am, not some version they hope I will be. I have been revelling in being in love and being loved for the past seven months.

Permission granted to invest in relationships that matter.

I was joking last night at my friends’ annual New Year’s Eve party that we might be served by posting more about the things we intended to accomplish but hadn’t achieved. This year there will definitely be more of those.

As you take stock of the past year and decade, definitely celebrate what are you proud of. For those things that didn’t get done, can you celebrate the choices you made?

What intentions will you set? And perhaps most importantly, what will you give yourself permission for this year?

As always, Tune In before you Lean In.

With love and good wishes for sculpting a rich life.

Thanks for a prompt from my sister this morning, I’ll leave you with this, one of my favourite songs, “Life’s what you make it” from Talk Talk.