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Informed Consent – As an HSP, how much information do you want to health professionals to share?

On a Friday morning in March, I was feeling quite proud of myself having had my swim, and was making my breakfast in time to eat it before my 10 am mastermind call. My fellow mastermind members normally have to endure me eating on the call (though after living in Tokyo where eating in public is not socially acceptable, I do try to cover my mouth while taking a bite – but that’s another conversation).

I must have been less present than necessary as when chopping fresh dill to add to my omelette with my brand-new kitchen knife, I miscalculated the length of my middle finger and in an instant decided to shorten it. Whoops. I knew right away that what I had done was not good, but didn’t know how bad it was. 

 

Clare standing in front of Emergency Room doors with bandaged fingers. She is wearing a medical mask, pink scarf and colourful sweater.

At the entrance to St. Joseph’s Hospital in Toronto that morning, my Love, Jacques who as you may know works for the emergency medical service was at his place about thirty minutes away and still sleeping. Not for long. I called a couple of times, the second call breaking through his “do not disturb” setting. Phew!

Oh, my, I was talking a mile a minute, telling him what happened with my hand up in the air and a paper towel compress on. I wasn’t sure if it was serious enough to need help or could be looked after at home. Jacques quickly decided that he would come. During the call, I calmed down significantly and started thinking about what I could do knowing that Jacques was on his way. I continued to regain my composure and made a few calls to figure out the next steps. I tried the following:


911 – they can’t give you advice on whether their help is required so they suggested calling our provincial telehealth line where you can speak to a nurse.

Telehealth – after a lengthy intake which includes marketing questions (that no one wants when dealing with a health issue!) I was told it would take several hours to receive a return call. Come to think of it, I have never received a callback…

My doctor’s office – they have a walk-in clinic but there were no doctors available. I could have a phone appointment with my doctor in an hour if I wished. I said yes, but didn’t anticipate hanging around.

 

When Jacques arrived, off we went to the local hospital emergency room.

Here’s what I noticed while there:

– When dealing with a real emergency, I talked myself through what I knew and immediately reached out for help. 

– I cared about doing the “right” thing in accessing medical care. I didn’t want to unnecessarily tax our urgent care system.

– I calmed down by breathing AND talking it out. Later on, I cried out some of the stress.

– I appreciated every kindness, from Sebastian in triage letting me know he would call ahead to the treatment area and let them know I would be coming and seen quickly, to Mallory who spoke slowly and clearly when giving directions to that station. She cared that I was comprehending and wow, did I appreciate that.

I was treated quite quickly and very grateful for the thoughtful care though there was one area of service I thought could have been more nuanced and I’m curious what you think.

I tend to be a questioner (one of Gretchen Rubin’s “Four Tendencies”) and take comfort in information. I want to know what to expect. For example, I inhaled every word of “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” when I was pregnant. Knowing lets me prepare.

I recognize that others are happier “not knowing”. They are ready to take whatever comes as it comes, trusting they will be able to handle it. This is my Love, Jacques.  And, not gonna lie, I’m a little envious. But given that I’m me, I will likely continue to love data.

When Dr. Da Silva, the ER doc was looking after me, he let me know that part of the treatment could be very uncomfortable and freezing was an option. Jacques was with me and having seen many treatments and the associated discomfort, and knowing me and my low threshold for pain, advised me to take the numbing. 

The doctor told me it would be a “poke”.

Fine, I thought. A poke I can deal with. 

 

Um, not so much. It was painful and disturbing for somewhere between thirty seconds to a minute…or maybe longer. It certainly seemed longer.

During this part of the treatment, all of my composure was gone. I said words I shouldn’t and cried.



When the doctor came back, I said, “I don’t hate you. And, I’m sorry.”

The rest went swimmingly. 

 

Before I left though, I let the doctor know that I would have appreciated a more realistic description of what to expect. “Poke” wasn’t the right term. I think I would have known to anchor in my breath more deeply and to expect to stay there. Closing my eyes and holding Jacques’ hand (after telling the doctor and Jacques that science says this helps) was indeed helpful but not enough.

To address the fact that some people like to know and some people don’t question, perhaps a health care provider can ask how much you want to know. I recognize that in some situations, this is not realistic, but if time allows, this question could help guide the way a practitioner proceeds.

I think of my massage therapist who moves around the table always keeping a hand on me. I think of the MRI technician who tells me how long each imaging session will be after which I can move a little bit.

What do you think?

Do you want more information or less?

And would you appreciate being asked?

If you’re a health practitioner and have an opinion, I’d love to hear it.

Find me on twitter @clarekumar.

Author: Clare Kumar

Filed Under: HSP - Highly Sensitive Person, Mindset, Peace of Mind Tagged With: care, Clare Kumar, cut finger, doctor, Emergency Room, highly sensitive person, informed consent, patient, patient care, questions

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Productivity catalyst, highly sensitive executive coach, and speaker, Clare Kumar cultivates sustainable performance in busy professionals so they can keep making rich contributions in all areas of life and achieve greater fulfillment.

She inspires leaders, professionals, employees and entrepreneurs to respect humanity and boost performance through marrying productivity and pleasure. After all, why shouldn’t you have fun while getting things done?

 

From the Blog

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Informed Consent – As an HSP, how much information do you want to health professionals to share?

The SEED Model™ of High Sensitivity

have you ever felt debilitated by something you ca have you ever felt debilitated by something you can’t control?
😊😊😊what if it was excessive blushing...that left you anxious, not smiling?

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🎙these are powerful words from the author of “Red Face”, Russell Norris, in our conversation on the latest episode of the “Happy Space Podcast”.

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We have a fascinating discussion about what his struggle was really like, some of the strategies that he tried and found successful, and some that didn’t work so well. I invite you to not only listen to our conversation today but also to check out his book. It’s a wonderful view of this challenge which afflicts many, many people, and is also useful for anybody looking to build self-regulation skills.

🔗link to listen/watch/read the podcast is in the bio
 
#everyonedeservesaHappySpace

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it might sound trivial, but a watermark did indeed it might sound trivial, but a watermark did indeed become a matter of human rights. 

read the full story in my blog where i share the context, learning, and opportunity. 

find out:

- how was the watermark used?
- what problem did it cause?
- is a low threshold to visual sensory input simply a preference or can it be considered a disability/impairment?
- what did disability rights groups and a US lawyer looking at ADA have to say
 
i would love to know your thoughts. 

🔗 link in bio

#inclusivity #intellectualproperty #parkbias #staycurious #watermark #humanrights #disabilityrights #sensitivity #proudhsp #hsp #adhd #dyslexia
kicked out of class for the first time in my life. kicked out of class for the first time in my life. gah! 

when can a watermark be a human rights matter?

come find out why in the next episode of "Happy Space - the museletter"

sign up at www.clarekumar.com right on my homepage

or find a 🔗 in my bio.

#inclusivity #expelled #kickedout #seeyoulater #watermark #IP #newsletter
does connecting on a personal level help employees does connecting on a personal level help employees connect professionally?

author, speaker, and advocate for humanity, Joe Mull, CSP, M.Ed. joined me on the Happy Space Podcast and shared these wise words:

🙂 Clare: in 2001 I was working in a telecom company and my team was in three different cities. I was in the fourth city, and I came up with the idea, I think we need an intranet. We need an internet where we can share personal information. so now I can know more about Joe because then I’m going to care and it’s almost like you’re building this under this fuller understanding of someone so you actually care about them first as a human, and then you’ll support them as a colleague. 

📣 Joe: and this is something that has been studied for years. social science researchers call it distance, right? the distance that we have from someone influences the degree to which we will modulate our behaviour in their presence and the degree to which we are willing to be forgiving of them, right? if you think about comments on a facebook post or your local online newspaper, when we don’t know anyone, there are no consequences for showing up as the worst version of ourselves. but when you start to connect with people and you find those things in common, you’re actually creating an environment where you care a little bit more too about how that person sees you. and it doesn’t have to be really complex things. It doesn’t have to be sophisticated team retreats. even just giving people a chance to work together on something for 10 minutes can be a game changer in terms of those relationships.

🙂 Clare: it’s small, but intentional actions to build that understanding of each other as people.

❓ what‘a one way you invite connection with employees?

🔗link to listen/watch/read the podcast is in the bio

#everyonedeservesaHappySpace

#productivity #leadership #inclusivity #productivityforall #employalty #commitment #trust
today’s read. loving the humanity baked into thi today’s read. loving the humanity baked into this approach. 

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Instagram post 17882117390805503 Instagram post 17882117390805503
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author, speaker, and advocate for humanity, @joemull77 , CSP, M.Ed. joined me on the Happy Space Podcast and shared these wise words:

✨ “when you create an environment where people experience trust, when you create an environment where people get their ideal job doing meaningful work for a great boss, you dramatically lower the chances that you’re going to trigger active disengagement in a person.” 

🔥 “you’ve got to almost trust first in order to eventually get to a place where your organization cultivates that higher level of commitment and integrity among people. they maybe need to have a little bit of faith in people and you know, are you going to get burned every once in a while? probably…”

😃 “but people generally do a great job when they believe they have a great job. people tend to treat their employers well when their employers treat them well. And if we can operate that from that basic system, if we can ask ourselves what would make this place the very best place to be a blank, you know, whoever it is you’re employing, that actually starts you down the path of solving the right problems.”

❓ should leaders be more open when it comes to trusting their employees? do leaders need to be brave enough to trust their employees?

🔗link to listen/watch/read the podcast is in the bio 

#everyonedeservesaHappySpace

#productivity #leadership #inclusivity #productivityforall #employalty #commitment #trust
comfort is one of the Eight Performance Essentials comfort is one of the Eight Performance Essentials 

if i would have listened to my dad my entire life, i would have always worn “sensible shoes”. it’s never too late to respect your body and give it what it needs. 

this my latest fave footwear - silver sparkles and gold jacquard (yay @riflepaperco ) are in my closet - keeping those pristine. 

design for well-being, performance will flow. 

quote me on that!

#notsponsored but @kedscanada let’s talk 😊
#productivity #inclusivity #comfort #ergonomics #itstartswiththeshoes #fancyfeet #sneakers
Instagram post 17955373904425213 Instagram post 17955373904425213
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